My brother, sister and I were not raised with religion. My parents were, but they both left religion behind in their adult years. My grandmothers and grandfathers were great believers. I especially remember the faith of one of my grandmothers. How she believed that we as a family would not go to heaven because we had not been baptized. She was genuinely sad about that. A big part of my grandmother’s faith lay in the Mother Mary. This was one of the little pieces I could relate to, the strength of a mother, because I have the very best. 

But in general I didn’t get ´religion´. My brain couldn’t understand how you could believe God, the church. Believe, regardless of so much misery in the world, so much pain. And then the story of heaven, the place you go after you die?? When you’re dead you’re dead. At least that’s what I thought then. 

Somewhere in recent years it has changed. My own journey has, time and time again, made me rethink all kinds of religion. In those years I didn’t know what it was that attracted me to investigate religion. Now I think it went hand in hand with my pursuit of salvation; relief from pain, mentally and physically.

Years later I have found my salvation, or even better said: I understand and feel my salvation. I’m working on it; I learn and realize there is no end, only more depth. The journey is the salvation, and in this I find that I’m starting to understand religion. I seem to understand how it was meant and so it is also clear where it went wrong. 

I chose not to believe because I didn’t understand. There are many people around the world who don’t understand and make religion into something it’s not, because they believe with their heads and not with their hearts.  When you believe with your head, a lot of things that don’t belong with faith are invented. Aversion, exclusion, money, hatred, the belief that there is one god and if you don’t believe in that one god you don’t believe. For me it is now clear that whatever god or gods people choose to worship, whatever visual image of it you give yourself, we are all talking about one and the same thing; LOVE. 

At its core love is what is the equal denominator for each faith. Act out of love, give love to those around you, love yourself, love your neighbor. Within each faith there are beautiful stories written to convey the message of love. Then people came along, who attached a business model to it and saw room for exploitation, and things went wrong, and still go wrong. Religion doesn´t exist to make money. As soon as money comes into play, you’ve moved far away from what it’s all about. Once money is added, it is no longer for everyone. And isn’t love for everyone?

What do I believe in now? I believe in Love. 

Is there a heaven in the faith of love? I believe that your soul and your body are two different things. Your soul houses in a body to live this life for which it descended. And whatever you have descended for, you are here to do it in love. This is complicated for some souls because they carry a lot of pain, suffering and sorrow from this and previous rounds. To be able to act in, and out of love, you have to look at everything from this round, but also look at that of the previous rounds. This so you can understand what you are here for. Looking at it is may not be the right word…..

You may be aware that what you carry is not always current. But you should never use that awareness as an excuse for what you do or don’t do in this round. Look at the hate, the pain, the misery of the here and now, and at that which is older than you. Feel it and learn from it.  Don’t be distracted by things and people that don’t matter. This is what often happens within a faith. Someone tells you what to believe or not to believe. Don’t let anyone tell you what you “should” believe. Feel what you believe and act on that. 

What happens when you have completed what you are here for? MMmm I think you can leave behind everything you’ve looked at, and take with you the lessons you’ve learned. With everything you’ve left behind and everything you’ve learned, you’ll begin your next mission. 

Sometimes looking at what there is or was is not easy. If you can use some help, feel free to reach out, I’d love to help you look at and leave behind what no longer serves you. 



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